Nature vs. Nurture

I do a lot of reading, and every once in a while, I come across something that I feel is very profound and needs to be shared. We've all heard about the debate over the past many years about whether a person is shaped more by his genetics or his environment. I feel safe in saying that this is not an "either/or" situation, that we are influenced by both. There are endless discussions as to which is more dominant, but I have to assume that both are so integrated as to be inseparable. 

From the May 2013 issue of Discover Magazine (http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epigenetic-mark-on-your-genes#.UbOksPmkruH), there is a fascinating article about how our behavior can actually alter our genes, which characteristics can then be passed on. There is a description of the studies that have been done which includes some of the scientific results that leads to that conclusion. 

Everyone usually has a least one branch in their family tree that has a lot of "black sheep" or chronic mental health conditions, an example being alcoholism. This problem seems to be passed from one generation to the next, and we've witnessed those who fell victim to it in spite of angry feelings toward another member of the family who suffered from the same condition. 

Does this mean that the family is forever doomed to battling these problems? This is where the excitement comes in, because the answer is, "no!" A person can actually reverse these genetic changes by refusing to follow in that path of self destruction. Knowing that many mental health problems are actually types of "short circuits" in the brain, other parameters come into play. Those people who commit themselves to a more positive way of thinking and living can reverse many of those negative tendencies for their future posterity. This goes back to the philosophy of "breaking the cycle" that we've heard about, and it can be done.

This can lead to an interesting discussion on how important your attitude is and how it can influence your posterity. Traumatic events can contribute to this situation which would explain why descendants can, in some cases, experience the feelings involved by knowing about the events. This makes our connection to our ancestors more than just biology. The more we know about our forebears, the better we will understand ourselves.

I encourage you to read the article for yourself, and I know you will be amazed by their conclusions.

Jan's Editing Service

www.jansediting.blogspot.com

Eye on the Weather

Is there anyone who does not pay attention to the weather and its effects on how we live our lives? Already, this winter has provided numerous examples of extreme situations and their potentially devastating consequences.  In 2013 alone, we experienced blistering heat waves, bone-chilling ice storms, severe drought that is continuing into this year, Dorothy-and-Toto style tornadoes, as well as floods. People's lives are not only turned upside down, but they have to somehow find the strength to get up and start over. This process can easily take years, while some never make it, choosing instead to find a new place somewhere else.

In the constant effort just to live our lives as peacefully as possible, it is easy to forget about times in our past in which we had to rely on some ingenuity to get through some unexpected weather events. Having lived more than half my life on the Gulf Coast, it was very important to be prepared for hurricanes, tornadoes, and torrential rains that often accompanied tropical storms. Having experienced all of the above, my husband and I became very adept at handling many of the trials and inconveniences that followed one of these events which took out our electricity for days and weeks at a time. When you're faced with these situations, it's easy to have great respect and admiration for those that came before you--how did they do it?

The devastating hurricane of 1900, that almost destroyed Galveston Island, forever changed that city. Over 5000 people lost their lives as the island was literally underwater. What was left after the storm was a huge pile of debris and bodies, but the survivors refused to give up. The rest of the story is that the people literally raised the elevation of the island and built a huge seawall to protect it from being battered by incoming seas during a storm. This engineering feat has proved successful time and again, even during Hurricane Ike just a few years ago. Ike did produce widespread devastation on Galveston, some of which still has not been cleared away, but other places nearby were literally swept away by the sea. The storm surge was much higher than anticipated, and it literally drowned a couple of the coastal towns, leaving only minimal evidence that they had even existed.

The true test of a person comes after the event in dealing with the lack of amenities and resources. For my family, we were as well-prepared as one could be. We were without power for two weeks, and by the end of the second week, it had really gotten old. We teamed up with one other neighbor, and between us, we managed very well. I had to travel to do laundry, and we did have to look around for gas to run our generator, but overall, we didn't suffer like others we saw. It took quite a while to rebuild the power infrastructure due to all the downed trees and broken lines, but eventually, the power came back, and we had the luxury of a hot shower once again.

This winter, a severe ice storm hit the Dallas area which literally shut it down. We lost at least another dozen trees that made sure our power lines were useless, and we learned that it is different to be prepared for the cold. Many people this year have suffered from the intense cold, places that don't normally get this kind of weather and don't have the resources to deal with its effects.

Flooding can be a major issue in many parts of the country. This was our front yard at our log cabin after a few days of torrential rains. The driveway was completely underwater, and we found ourselves living on an island.

These experiences all become stories in our lives, and as such, we should record them for our descendants to read. Just how much do we actually know about our parents' lives, and I, for one, would love to know in more detail about some of their experiences. I can never say enough that it only takes a generation to lose your family's history, so it is vital that we write down what we can remember. If you don't know what to write about, think about an event that occurred and how your family got through it. All these little chapters will add up, and you will have a family record of your life before you realize it.

www.janseditingservice.blogspot.com

Who Knew?

I came across this on FaceBook, and it was so unbelievable that I felt I had to share it with you:

In 1913 it was legal to mail children. With stamps attached to their clothing, children rode trains to their destinations, accompanied by letter carriers. One newspaper reported it cost fifty-three cents for parents to mail their daughter to her grandparents for a family visit. As news stories and photos popped up around the country, it didn't take long to get a law on the books making it illegal to send children through the mail.....Smithsonian 

I did a search on this to see if this was true or not, and I did find the story. There were two children who were sent this way, shortly after the parcel post system was set up. One can only imagine the public outcry when this became known! I would hope that these children were told of their adventure so that their descendants would know about it. Imagine all the things that could be said: Refused, Return to Sender, Fragile, Handle with Care! 

There could be incredible stories in your family that are equally unbelievable, and it behooves us all to find them and preserve them for the generations to come.

Jan Domenico
Jan's Editing Service for Writers

Treasuring Your Family Stories

This is the time of year when we are most likely to gather with our families, both immediate and extended. This is also a great time to ask questions about your grandparents, uncles, aunts, and beyond. Since we don't live forever, it is important to gather up as many family stories as is possible before they are lost forever. The way our grandparents lived is already history, but have we done our job in educating our children and/or relatives about it? It only takes one generation to begin losing touch with the past, especially since we live in a future-oriented culture. The past can quickly only become interesting when there is a revival of sorts when it comes to fashion trends or if someone has been successful in spotlighting a particular part of history, such as Tom Brokaw and his books on "The Greatest Generation."

A few years ago, Jay Leno, the comedic host of the "Tonight Show," wrote and published a children's book, If Roast Beef Could Fly. He based the story on a personal family experience that did a wonderful job in highlighting the kind of people his parents were as well as his happy childhood. The illustrations were caricatures of himself, filled with humor and family love.

We all have personal family experiences and stories that we should share--we just need to find our best way to present them. We might not be able to write a book, but most of us are able to record an anecdote that illustrates something about a family member who might already be deceased. These stories become family treasures, meant to be enjoyed by all future generations. Publishing stories has also become quite easy and affordable, thanks to companies such as Shutterfly and Heritage Makers, and others. With their extensive template and graphics libraries, it becomes a simple matter of plugging in your text as well as your pictures. One can also format their own book to better reflect the story.

I spent a lot of time this year scanning old slides (remember those?), and when I came across a group that my husband had taken of the bombing of his ship, the USS Higbee, during the Viet Nam war, I realized that I had some important images that I felt should be made more easily available for our families to see. I want to add text that reflects his remembrances of that time as closely as possible. This was a significant event for us, but because it occurred at the same time as the Apollo 16 moon landing, it was very hard to get information about it on the news. It was two weeks before we wives heard from our guys, and it was a terrifying time to not be able to communicate. By putting this story in a book format, all associated pictures and stories will be preserved in one place for easy access for our family members or anyone else who wants to know something about it.

Why do this? In the December issue of Good Housekeeping magazine, there is a wonderful article, The Root of All Things, by Frances Lefkowitz about "how family stories and memories shared aloud create a powerful bond with the people you love, build resilience, and even boost happiness."   Psychologists are discovering that family stories both inspire and motivate us--family history researchers have known this for a long time! We are familiar with many prominent families, such as the Kennedys, and how important it was for the patriarch of the family (Joseph Kennedy) to see his sons pursue political careers and to have one become president of our country. Our personal stories may not be as dramatic as that, but we still have important lessons to share. Our stories can prove that it is possible to rise above incredible obstacles and tragedy, that the human spirit is resilient and strong. "Research has shown that people who tell redemptive types of stories about themselves and their families are psychologically healthier than those who tell stories of defeat or of happy events that didn't involve overcoming a difficulty (Good Housekeeping magazine, Dec. issue, p.90)."

Take advantage of the opportunities that may come your way, and take it a step further by recording it so that future generations can learn from it. Share the laughter as well as the tears. Show your descendants that they come from strong people who persevered even when they thought they were failing. Learning to "endure to the end" is an invaluable lesson for everyone.

Jan's Editing Service for Writers
www.jansediting.com

Give the Gift of Family

The gift-giving time of year is almost upon us, and it is difficult not to get caught up in all the hype and commercialism. This has been a great year for the promotion of learning about one's ancestors, so why not continue this line of thinking by presenting your family members with a genuine family gift? We already know that people who are conversant with their family history are better able to handle the vicissitudes of life, and it only seems logical that we should better educate our families about their ancestors. Our pasts are just as exciting as the ones we see on TV, but sadly, most people don't know that. The more we know about our forebears, the better we understand our "mental" DNA. I am endlessly fascinated by how much more we become like our parents, grandparents, etc., as we get older, so it only makes sense that we should know more about them as people. Another interesting facet is how much alike family members can be who don't live near each other. There are many documented cases of twins who were separated at birth who found each other as adults and share many traits in common that go far beyond the genetic ones. I see it in siblings all the time, yet they live across the country from each other with only marginal contact.

How does one give the gift of family? It is doubtful that we'll be able to publish a complete family history with a picture for every person within the next few weeks, so I suggest that something simpler would be in order. There are always ads in the genealogy magazines for poster-sized, framed pedigree charts, but my thoughts are even simpler. Perhaps the best resource currently available is Pinterest, a Website that has become an online bulletin board for anyone and everyone to be able to post ideas that will undoubtedly be interesting to someone. By going to www.pinterest.com, you can initiate a search for genealogy gifts, family history ideas, etc., and enjoy the offerings that present themselves. People are innately very clever, and I know that you will find ideas that appeal to you. Following are just a few examples:

ANCESTOR CARDS: For those of you who enjoy using your computer to generate cards, or for those of you like to scrapbook, here is a project that can provide endless hours of fun in teaching family members who all these people are. This could be organized in any number of ways depending on what the purpose is.



ANCESTOR BLOCKS: Decoupage copies of some pictures onto blocks of wood. Not only would this be fun for the young members of your family, but it is also a great conversation piece.



CAPTURING GENERATIONS: This idea could be done as the same person showing the various stages of his life, or it could be four generations; this has far more impact over the normal snapshot of a 4-generation family line.





SUBWAY ART: This is one of my favorite ideas because you can do it yourself using MS Word, Word Art, on your computer. I did one using family names, and while a bit time-consuming, the end result was well worth it. Print it out on parchment paper, frame it, and you have a great gift.

Let this be the year for the gift of family.
www.jansediting.com

"The Stories That Bind Us"

In the current September 2013 issue of Reader's Digest, I came across an interesting article (p.32, The Stories That Bind Us by Bruce Feiler), that made assertions about the importance of sharing family history stories with our children. The things that happened to our grandparents and beyond can have a significant bearing on how we and our children respond to modern day pressure and stress. Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush, both psychologists at Emory University conducted a study in 2001 with a group of about four dozen families to see if this hypothesis was true. The incredible conclusion was this--"the more children knew about their families' histories, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successfully they believed their families functioned." (p.33)

The article goes on to explain how knowing about our past gives us a sense of being a part of something larger than ourselves. This takes us back to those elemental questions of who am I, why am I here, and where am I going?  There has been a tremendous increase in interest about knowing where we came from, as exemplified by the popular TV show, Who Do You Think You Are? We all came from somewhere, and the need to know the answers can become of tantamount importance, particularly for adoptees. By knowing where we came from and something about the people from whom we're descended, we gain a sense of self-confidence that cannot be obtained any other way. Knowing about our grandparents' or even great-grandparents' struggles can give us strength to persevere through our present-day circumstances that could otherwise be overwhelming.

During the time I served in the US Navy as a neuropsychiatric technician at Oak Knoll Hospital in Oakland, CA, I worked with many marines who had come back from Viet Nam thoroughly messed up from drugs and/or PTSD, although PTSD was not as recognized as a disorder in the late 60's. I studied the POW/MIA outcomes, some of which will never be resolved. The common thread I saw in my distinctly unscientific study was that those people who had the best outcomes were those who had a solid family/religious basis during their growing-up/adult years. This was the anchor that kept them grounded and provided them with the will to survive and the strength to endure under horrible circumstances.

We know how priceless it would be to have personal memoirs written by our ancestors, but it's also just as priceless to record ours for the generations that are already following behind us. How we have handled our lives could be of great importance to a future grandchild (and beyond) who is seeking to know something about us. Our lives matter. What we do with our lives matters. Our stories could inspire our descendants to persevere rather than to give up.

Moral of the day: Write Your Story!

Jan Domenico, contributor
www.jansediting.com

Not Forgotten

I was reading an article this morning out of Family Tree Magazine (Jul/Aug 2013, p. 19) by Madonna Dries Christensen in which she related a story about how both her great-grandfather and his young, 12-year-old daughter had been killed by lightning and buried in different cemeteries. The author had always thought the two had been killed at the same time, but after doing some research, she discovered that the little girl had actually been killed 17 years earlier. Four years after the great-grandfather's death, his wife was laid to rest next to him, and a year later, another daughter joined them. These last three deaths happened in the early 1900's, and as often happens, the grave markers which were metal plates, became dislodged and eventually cast aside. More than 100 years later, a descendant found the markers and made it her mission to prompt the other family members to provide a headstone for the three graves. After some effort, the headstone was completed, and the family gathered around to dedicate it.

 

The author's closing statement quoted an old adage that "claims people are less afraid of dying than they are of being forgotten." That is what caught my attention, but it was the story leading up to it that gave it impact.

 

Thanks to our bloggers associated with this site and the parent one in Torre le Nocelle, our family members won't be forgotten. Carm, Florindo, and several others have dedicated their lives to making sure that these humble ancestors of our are not and never will be forgotten. Physical records can only last so long, but the monumental effort that has been made to digitize these records will assure that their information will not be lost in the dust, but rather, preserved for future generations who want to search out their people.

 

I, for one, want to express my sincere thanks for their tireless efforts, commitment, and dedication for all that they do. How grateful I have been to make connections on behalf of my husband's family (although I feel like they're mine) and create a living record of these people. On my last trip a few years ago to Boston, I was able to hand a pedigree chart to one of the more "senior" Domenico's who had done some research himself, and it meant a great deal to him to see the generations going back into the early 1600's.

 

These ancestors have contributed mightily to who we are today, and we owe them honor and respect for living the lives they did. We may not be able to physically place a headstone on an actual grave, but we are all able to create symbolic ones on our computers.

 

My sincerest thanks to everyone out there who is doing their best to not let anyone be forgotten!

 

Jan Domenico

www.jansediting.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home-Crafted Arts

Being a home crafter myself, some of my most treasured possessions were made by people I love, such as my daughters, mother, and grandmother. I have great appreciation for objects lovingly made by hand and then gifted or passed down to me. There is always a story with a handcrafted object, and it is important to record that story so that the next person in line will understand its significance.  

Our ancestors didn't have many conveniences, but they learned to make do with the materials at hand. I have only recently gotten into the world of quilting, although I was introduced to it as a child by my grandmother. In her day, quilting was a way to utilize fabrics that were left over from making clothing, or even recycling the clothing itself when it had outlived its usefulness. My favorite quilt that she had on her bed was one that was on its third generation of being covered. It had a place on it where the stitching had come loose, and underneath the flap I could see the quilt that had been used as its filler. The most exciting thing, however, was that there was also a loose flap in that same spot on the filler quilt, and under it was the original quilt! That one quilt was actually three, and that was very exciting for a child under the age of 10! We would spend hours going over the patches on the quilt, and she would tell me whose dress or shirt had been made from that fabric. What a lesson in family history!

What handcrafted treasures have been gifted to you from people you love? What heirlooms are in your home that were carefully preserved for future generations? It's amazing the memories an object can evoke. These memories tell a story that no one would ever be able to find online in any database, so it is important that they be written down before they are forgotten and lost to time. My grandmother taught me many things about home crafts, and she was my mentor in teaching me how to use her treadle Singer sewing machine at the tender age of 7, and I've never stopped since.

Take the time to record what you know about such personal things, as this is what makes our progenitors come alive. As you were taught, that person undoubtedly told you about who had taught him/her, and that gives you a window into the past that will never be found on a census record.

Note: This picture is of one ring of my grandmother's effort to make a double wedding ring design. From the technical standpoint, it is inexpertly done, but with regards to the memories it evokes, it's priceless! In many places, it is still possible to read the lettering on the muslin used for the backing that came from flour sacks. The muslin was bleached and then became an important part of the quilt. It is puckered in many places, but thanks to some careful quilting, it just adds to the sentimental value.




www.jansediting.com
Writing a Family History

Overcoming the Fear

Starting a written family history can be a daunting task--where do you start; how do you start; who do you start with, and many other questions flood your mind. By virtue of its nature, a family history is an exercise in the past, but we don't often think about how we get there.

The best place to begin is with yourself. You may think that no one is interested in you, but you would be wrong! The family history audience loves the story about the search as much as the story you want to tell. I have a contact in my family who has and is doing extensive research of certain lines through DNA testing. While my eyes cross when he is going through the scientific analysis of the data, I'm fascinated with the conclusions he is able to draw because of the data. That is certainly worthy of a chapter in my family history, as he is now able to link certain families together via DNA while excluding others, even though they all lived in the same general area and share some of the same surnames. I would have erroneously assumed that everyone was related, which is not totally incorrect, but the relations originate back several generations from what one would assume.

I have another distant cousin who found me on Ancestry, and thanks to him, I now have enough documents and pictures to keep me busy for the next several years. Denny deserves special thanks, because he is a Viet Nam vet who is suffering terribly from the effects of Agent Orange. He is younger than me, but the necessity of being on oxygen 24/7 and getting dialysis treatments three times a week has made him old before his time. His relentless search for his family (and mine) gives him a reason to wake up in the morning and keeps him busy throughout the day. Denny's story is as much a part of my family history as the deceased.

Alex Haley of Roots fame, had as big a story to tell about the process of finding the information as the history itself. Many of us watched the mini-series Roots on TV years ago and were captivated by it, and this was before so many incredible resources became available, particularly the computer and everything that has come with it.

Your personal story is as much a part of your family history as your grandparents. The next time you think you don't know where to start, just look at yourself. All you have to do is begin!

Jan's Editing Service for Writers
www.jansediting.com

Traditions

I'm sure that most people are familiar with the song, "Traditions," from Fiddler on the Roof.  While treated in a light-hearted way in the Broadway show, make no mistake, traditions are serious business! What things do you look forward to on important occasions or holidays? The odds are you have certain practices that are linked to the event that are very important to you. It could be as simple as a wonderful dinner that gathers in loved ones to complicated activities that are only done at certain times. No matter the event, we look forward to the celebratory process and feel let down if we are unable to complete it. It's just not Thanksgiving without the turkey!

Just as every family has traditions, many of which have been handed down through generations, there are cultural traditions as well. Many traditions originate from where one grew up, and we would probably be very surprised at how far back some of the things we do now actually go. This is a great starting point for learning more about your family-- examine those traditions, and figure out how they originated.

While some traditions are all about fun, others have more serious connotations. An example would be the role of children in a family and their responsibility in contributing to its economic needs if necessary. This was a very strong tradition in Bob's family, and even though his maternal grandmother was born in Boston in 1896, children were expected to help out financially until the Baby Boomer generation, which in his family, was the first one in which children were expected to finish high school and learn some sort of trade. His father, John Domenico (1912-1989), was never able to finish high school because his financial support was needed to help sustain his family. This action forever influenced the rest of his life and in large part, defined who he was as well as who he wasn't.

By studying your family traditions, you can learn many things about your ancestors. Think about those things that were so important to your growing up, and then think about how many generations may have done similar things. We have a need to ritualize certain aspects of our lives, and our ancestors were no exception.

Need help? Contact me at: Jan's Editing Service for Writers, www.jansediting.com 

Bringing Your Ancestors to Life

Having my finger in several "genealogical pies," I have the opportunity to see how my ancestors are described on a factual basis. Most of the time, people are listed as part of a group, and if I'm lucky, there might be additional information such as births, marriages, children, etc. There should be a section in every family history book that does this, but when possible, there should also be a section that brings them to life. This does require some research on your part, as it is necessary to know and to understand their living conditions, economic pressures, and occupations wherever possible.

With our Torre le Nocelle and surrounding villages ancestors, we do know that they lived in the shadow of Mt. Vesuvius, an area prone to severe earthquakes. By doing a little research, I found the following Website to be of interest: http://www.echomolise.org/Earthquakes.html. It does list a catastrophic earthquake to have hit the Naples area in 1626 which shows that there were 70,000 killed. The survivors that did not move away, but chose, instead, to remain, had to have been greatly affected by the tragedy. Many records were destroyed, but thankfully, not all.

Unfortunately, very few of the early Italians were journal writers, most likely due to illiteracy, so there are few accounts, if any,  from people who lived through these events. We are left to surmise the "what might haves" as best we can. However, by researching the conditions of the time, as well as checking what documentation may have survived of your family members, it is possible to create a plausible scenario based on what is known.

Many of us are present-day survivors of catastrophic events, and we do know first-hand the devastating effects that nature can inflict on our lives--towns wiped off the map, livelihoods destroyed, total disruption/destruction in food production/supply, psychological stress, as well as the loss of family members. By understanding our reactions to these events, it is not a huge stretch to have compassion for what our ancestors may have endured.

My point in all this? Having a list of names is only a part of their story. Do your research and find out what conditions were like at the time. The more you know historically, the more you'll know about your ancestors, which will allow you to appreciate their courage and stamina. Never forget that there is something of our ancestors in all of us that goes beyond DNA.

Jan Domenico (Jan's Editing Service for Writers)

Recording your Stories

Researching our ancestors is a pastime that requires unlimited resources of dedication and patience. The process of organizing them is a daunting task, particularly when so many names are repeated throughout generations of families. The excitement that is experienced through the discovery of our distant family members can only be matched by coming across stories about them. Every family has "legends" of ancestral exploits, for these are what makes these people take form and emerge as real people who lived real lives. How important it is that these stories are recorded in some way so  they are not forgotten.

A few years back, one Domenico family story was posted on this blog (http://tlngenealogy.blogspot.com/2010/01/domenico-family.html) about Serafina Struzziero. Even though there are few family members left who knew her personally, her "eccentricities" are still talked about.

I have made it my mission to record as many of these stories as I can find, as I want my descendants to know their forebears. Writing a family history can be a huge task, as there are many roadblocks that present themselves. We want the finished product to be as complete as possible, but the challenge is that there is always more information out there. How does one decide where to draw the line? How much generalized history should be included to place our ancestors in their proper context? Should extended family be included in the charts? Are we collecting names or are we discovering our ancestral family? All of these are issues that have to be dealt with.

There are few joys that match that of getting to know your "people" on as personal level as possible. It is amazing what can be learned through frequent censuses and other civil documents, i.e., births and deaths, marriages, etc. More poignantly, it can be the implied living conditions as well as the numerous deaths within a family within a specific time frame, indicating some sort of disease. Finding multiple generations living in one tiny home is a strong indicator of how difficult life was.

Look for those stories that are written "between the lines," and your heart will swell with gratitude at their quiet courage, fortitude, and determination to live with dignity. Our forebears gave us the gift of a history, and we can make it our gift to record it for our posterity.
                     -----Jan Domenico, contributor


****Note From Carm****

Jan is not only a contributor to the blog, but also one of our dearest cousins.  Please take a moment to view her new site "Jan's Editing Service For Writers".